some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
