dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
