so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
