I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sext me about skeletons
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
