You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
