can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
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Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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