we're chasing vodka with high fives
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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