do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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