Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
