Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
