Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need to calm my uterus...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
