I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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