His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
