do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
