I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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