Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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