the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do herpes really smell.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
