They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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