so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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