Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
