the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize