what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
