question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
