All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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