Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
