This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
