1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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