Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
