Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
