I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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