i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
