I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
