New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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