someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize