If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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