come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
