You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize