she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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