pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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