youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
