Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
