On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
