I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
