He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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