At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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