no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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