I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
