Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
