and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
last night I used snow as a chaser
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
