Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
