FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Found your dick twin last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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