i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
