Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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