The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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