so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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