Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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