Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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