I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
