i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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