let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
