i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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