Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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