Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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