tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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