my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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