Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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